A guy finds a magic lamp on the beach. The genie informs him that he gets three wishes, but whatever he gets his ex-wife gets twice as much.
"How about $1,000,000?" he asked.
"Your ex-wife now has $2,000,000 in her account as well," said the genie.
"I've always wanted a Benz, how about that?"
"Your wife now has two of those cars."
For the last wish he had to think for a minute, "...could you beat me half to death?"