13. Because you deserve better than the back seat of some car.
12. With Monica as the spokeswoman: "Because some stains you want to keep"
11. If We'd Known You Were Staying All Night, We'd Have Changed the Sheets
10. You rented the room, now buy the video.
9. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then you wouldn't have money left over for a hooker.
8. We'll leave the Lysol for ya!
7. Hey, we're not the Ritz, but just try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!
6. As seen on "COPS"
5. Not just for nooners anymore.
4. We left off the 9, but you know it's there.
3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962!
2. Clinton comes here... Why shouldn't you.
1. We put the "Ho" in "Hotel"