Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Video Games
- There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence.
- You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters.
- If it moves, KILL IT!
- Operating any vehicle or weapon is simple and requires no training.
- "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker than they are to do their dirty work.
- If you find food lying on the ground, eat it.
- You can smash things and get away with it.
- Smashing things doesn't hurt.
- Many nice things are hidden inside other things.
- When someone dies, they disappear.
- Money is frequently found lying on the streets.
- All shopkeepers carry high-tech weaponry.
- You never run out of bullets, only grenades.
- Ninjas are common, and fight in public frequently.
- Whenever huge evil fat men are about to die, they begin flashing red or yellow.
- When you are born, you're invulnerable for a brief period of time.
- Although the enemy always has more aircraft than you, they fly in predictable patterns which makes it easier for you to shoot them all down.
- All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies.
- The enemy always leaves weapons and ammo laying around for no other reason than so their bitter enemies can pick them up and defeat them with it.
- You sustain injury if you shoot innocents.
- Gang members frequently all look the same, and often have the same names.
- When driving, do not worry if your vehicle crashes and explodes. A new one will appear in its place.